I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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