I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
