Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
