She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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