yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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