After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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