Im at strip club and am horny
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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