i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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