Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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