Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
