Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
