from now on my penis is your penis
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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