They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
