This girl is more easily done than said...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
