Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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