he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
