he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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