wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
