I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
