I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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