peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
