would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i think my cat just said my name.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i think i just lost a toe
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
