yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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