their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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