My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
