Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
