i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
