I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
