I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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