Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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