I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
