He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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