This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
