She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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