im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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