Sry I called you an 8
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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