guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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