they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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