She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
