it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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