Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
