WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
