i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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