From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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