8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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