Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we still banned from the library?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
