woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
