then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
