I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
