dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
