the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize