i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize