Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
