bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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