It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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