she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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