I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize