So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize