I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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