i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
