In the future we'll all be gay
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
